7 Signs That You Might Be Married to a Chef
In certain industries the wives will band together to support one another whilst their partners are off working hard. You know sisterhood and all that. Whilst we've all heard about the army wives and the WAGS, very little is said about the community of chef wives in fact, how do you even know if you are one?
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Dont worry; I've solved the problem you didn't know you had. Here are seven signs you might be married to a chef:
1.You own an industrial sized first aid kit (and you know how to use it.)
A chef wife practically earns a nursing degree in the first few months of her marriage. Best way to treat a burn? Butterfly bandage a large cut? You know it all. Nothing short of a severed limb or a third degree burn would see your partner seek professional help, so amongst your many other family roles you moonlight as a nurse and let's face it, a doctor would do greater damage to his pride.
2.You spend all the major holidays alone.
Forget having a romantic dinner with your partner, Valentines day is a restaurants busiest day of the year. The only person who dreads Valentines Day more than a chef at any half decent restaurant is his wife. She spends the night like most single women, home alone with a large glass of wine and a chick flick.
You can also forget birthdays, anniversaries, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Thanksgiving. Any public holiday you can name, he'll work it.
3.Watching reality cooking shows is no longer enjoyable.
Before your husband came along, watching a reality cooking show was a highlight in your week. Nights we're spent drooling over Zumbos croquembouche and just wanting to give Julie Goodwin a hug. Those days are gone.
If you can no longer watch an episode of Masterchef without yelling something like that's not how you temper chocolate and Masterchef Professionals made you want to hit your head against a wall, then it's likely that are you are married to someone in the commercial food industry.
4.You don't know what a weekend is, in fact sometimes you can't tell what the days of the week are.
If you find yourself living in a tiny bubble that's slightly off centre with the rest of the worlds perception of time, then chances are you are married to a chef. Its a world where weekends generally begin on a Tuesday, but definitely don't exist if it is the school holidays, and where weeknights are unlikely finish before 11pm. If you do more breakfast dates than dinners, and can easily justify why your partner won't be attending Saturday nights family reunion, then you might be living the life of a chef wife.
5.You dread invitations that ask you to bring a plate.
You are the belle of the social season, because you suddenly find yourself invited to every neighborhood potluck, children's birthday party, baby shower, christening, engagement party, and 21st/30th/40th party there is oh and the invitation to these events usually finishes with a sneaky and please bring a plate of something to share.
When you do arrive at such parties (and of course you arrive alone because your partner is always working), your food is inspected with great enthusiasm and the less than subtle question of did you make these? Although if you did actually make them, nobody believes you did because you are married to a chef.
6.You know the difference between a macaron and a macaroon. (Hint: one has coconut, the other has almonds.)
There are only two types of people in this world who care about the difference between a macaron and a macaroon the foodies and those who actually cooked the food. If you know that a macaron is a made from ground almonds while a macaroon is made with coconut, but don't actually care, then it is highly likely are you are a chef wife.
Of course chances are that you also know exactly what al dente means, why adding a pinch of salt to caramel is actually a good idea, and how to make gnocchi from scratch but again, you don't actually care.
7.The knives are worth more than your engagement jewellery.
There is nothing more precious to a chef then his knives they are his pride and joy, his babies, the love of his life and he will spend more money than most make in a week on them. You will find yourself hunting out speciality stores to find the perfect balance of blade vs handle for any present giving occasion. In fact if your husband would rather insure the kitchen than the bling on your finger, then chances are you are married to a chef.
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Posted in Home Improvement Post Date 10/16/2016